On The Sunny Side Of The Street

Although I can't have any chocolate, this was all the sugar I needed this V-Day.

So... I spent Valentine's Day with Alec Baldwin. You can stop braggin' about your assorted box of Russell Stovers chocolate and romantic dinner at Olive Garden, and KNOW my day stomped yours. Bright and early on Valentine's Day morning, I got up and drove into Hollywood to see Alec Baldwin received his star on the Walk of Fame. Heather came with me and we stopped at Starbucks before hand. I needed the boost, with my porcelain skin and aversion to any time of day ending with A.M., I already draw too many similarities to a vampire. The girl in front of us ordered $25 worth of coffee in between texting. I wanted to smack the back of her head, I had places to be, skank!

TIP: THIS is NOT the person to crowd in front of.

We got to Hollywood an hour before the ceremony, and there was already a butt load of people, but I got a good spot. The girl in front of me left to go find a bathroom and a few minutes later I heard, "Excuse me." A girl, NOT the same one, pushed in front of me. Oh hell to the no. I'm a rule follower, and you can NOT just say excuse me and crowd your way to the front, not when it involves me getting out of bed early AND Alec Baldwin. I saw her gross ass bedhead hair that hadn't been brushed for days, all oily & dandruffy, basically a walking Head and Shoulders ad. She was wearing high heels and rolled up jeans...I knew she was a stupid skank. I looked at the girl next to me, I saw that she was also frustrated. Since I was bigger, I pushed right up against skank-a-saurus Rex , breathing down her gross neck, making it super uncomfortable to be there. "Woooow, you've got to be effing kidding me,"  I said to the back of her flaky head. She stood there for a few more seconds, then left. She tried to get into the press area, but she was neither a member of the press, nor hot enough to enter. That's the brakes! She came back to my area and I stood close to my new rule following friend and didn't let her squeak in. "Uh, some people," she said. "Screw yourself," I replied, I'm pretty sure she did, she's a skank, they can't help themselves.

Shampoo is for closers.

I noticed the same homeless dude that was at Mel Brook's ceremony was at this one, thankfully it was not a hot day so the trash bag he utilizes as a purse didn't smell as bad. The press really started coming in and the guy in the photo below looked a lot like Huey Lewis, I wondered where 'The News' was. (That guy is actually Jerry Penacoli from Extra!)

Oh, whoa, workin' for a livin'.

The event started. Johnny Grant isn't the mayor anymore, so the new guy got things rolling. A few stars were there; Jack McBrayer (Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock), Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson from 'Parks & Rec" and Megan Mullally's husband), Stephen Baldwin (proving that everyone has a goober little brother) and Anne Heche (who cares?!) &  Megan Mullally spoke. She is very funny and wrote a great speech. Billy Baldwin was supposed to speak but was sick, so another schmuck talked, then Alec got up and excepted his star.

He was very gracious, the speech was funny but he thanked a bunch of industry people that no one knew. (Why do people do that? If your agent got you a gig, you don't have to thank him ---you already PAID him, he did his job, what he was paid to do. Oh well, he's just a nice guy.)

I don't know what that guy was yappin' about, neither does Alec. 

"I'm going to be your bottom, Kenneth, and I want you to ride me as hard as you can."- Jack Donaghy

After he did interviews (with NBC only reporters) he came over to us peasants. What sucks about stuff like this is there's always a bunch of douche b's that want to get crap signed so they can sell it on eBay. I effin' hate them and they were there in force.

A: Always, B: Be, C: Charming

Always Be Charming

It was a fun way to spend Valentine's Day, but I had to drive back and go to work. After an awesome day, a little kid in a wheel chair snapped my happy ass back down to reality and told me I looked like Miley Cyrus. I took it as a compliment since he was a kid and had no way of knowing she's actually a gangling weirdo. Then his Mom chimed in and said I must get that all the time. Thank you life,even though you gave me lemons to make lemonade with, you always make sure to squirt a little juice in my eye, just to keep it real!

Educate Yo' Self: Song my blog title is referencing

Marty!! We've got to go back!!

They had style, they had grace

So...I got to Hollywood Blvd. early for my class tonight and decided to wander around. It was daylight so I was safer than it being at night. I've walked past this theater and it always makes me sad. Clearly it once was a really neat theater and now it's all boarded up. I did a little research and found out that this spot is apparently very haunted because in 1901 it was an elementary school that burnt down killing 25 kids and a teacher. The theater was built in 1936 and was in use until 1995. There are a lot of neat old buildings on Hollywood Blvd. that, in a past life would have been some really swingin', happening places. It reminded me of Back to the Future. How things were once awesome and now they are all dirty and scary because people are all buttholes now.

Ice, Ice Baby

As I went about my little adventure to look into the past I really found one from my family's past. Jack Warner was the ice boy to my Great-Great Grandpa Abraham Goldberg. Jack apparently asked Ab if he wanted to go into the Nickelodeon (WAY before it was the name of a cable network) business with him and my stupid Great-Great Grandpa said, "I've got enough money." What an un-Jewish answer...they can NEVER have enough money!!!

Walk like an...

One landmark that has not turned to rubble was the Egyptian Theater. It open in 1922, just a month before King Tut's tomb was discovered  and was built, in my opinion, in a much more opulent manner than Grauman's Chinese just down the street.

See the pyramids along the Nile...

This doesn't even lead anywhere! Now that's crazy money!!

Slide your feet up the street bend your back...

Near the glass doors they have a schedule posted with all the movies they are playing for the month listed. On May 1st they are playing all three Back to the Future movies. I'm like a psychic! I text Harry to tell him he should come for a visit to watch all three...apparently there is suppose to be a special guest at the end of the showing. Maybe it'll be someone awesome like Doc Brown or someone less awesome like Bliff, either way that's cool.

I walk down the lane, with a happy refrain...

I couldn't get any closer to this building but it was really pretty and had a lot of detail. I wonder what it once was? Now it's stuck next to these two crappy souvenir shops. Poor little building.

Shoobie, Doobie, Doo...

I didn't know THIS place is the oldest Italian place in Hollywood since 1949. If they drove all the other Italian places out of town they did a bad job because Musso and Franks serves Italian and as been around since 1919. Someone needs to fix their sign but that mosaic is pretty cool.

While walking down to Grauman's Chinese I saw a girl flip out when she came across Marilyn Monroe's star on the Walk of Fame. She yelled and then kissed her hand and touched the ground. Maybe she thinks these people are buried under the stars, I don't know, but it was gross.

The Lady, She's a Tramp...

I wear the same shoe size as Sinatra. We could do a Tootsie like movie together where he borrows all my clothes...hilarious!

You Made Me Love You, I Didn't Wanna Do It...

Why does Gable's prints have a brass boarder? Did Lucy and Ethel try and steal this one too??

MAME...

Rosalind Russell as Auntie Mame reminds me of my crazy Grandma M. And my feet are WAY bigger than ol' Roz's tootsies.

I had to hoof it back to my class down the street but I did have a fun little adventure in only an hour before class.