So...I had a very clear, yet odd dream the other night that is sure to semi-insult my Mom. Since I'm 99% sure she's the only one that reads my blog, sorry Mom, I couldn't control this.
During this dream I was with a ton of kids at a train station (I was not a kid I was my current age) and we were going to meet our "real" parents. (Again, sorry Mom) I was walking up a steep ramp and Andy Richter(yes, Conan's sidekick) waved to me and said he had my parents right here.
And there they were Liz Lemon and Conan O'Brien. They were very nice to me and we ran and jumped on the train. Then Mr. Bojangles needed food and I woke up.
Reasons why this makes sense (at least in dreamland):
Papa Can You Hear Me? Conan's rapport with Martha Stewart and his love of My Little Ponies is one clue. He is also a history buff, like myself. We both enjoy BIG, orange, hair.
Also I road a horse in Scotland (his name was Jason) and instead of coughing, he farted the whole time I road him. Thanks, Jason.
Mammy!! Like Liz Lemon I have no gaydar, HATE people that break rules, have been confused for a lesbian(I don't understand how, I'm not that surly), am a brutal Uno player, been called a racist (I hate everyone equally), insist that I really am a nice person, bossy, have talked to food about my problems (but have never pooped my pants as an adult),listens to show tunes, have a fairly good knowledge of Star Wars(not proud of that), have had horrible boyfriends, can not be "sexy", is skeptical of anyone who asks me out, and I have the nerdy glasses which I got BEFORE 30 Rock.
Even after this analysis, I clearly watch way too much TV but it does make for interesting dreams. I need a dream dictionary, maybe it all means something...other than I watch alot of both of those shows.
(Pimp Bot 500, Masturbating Bear, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog)
So...Conan's final Tonight Show aired. It left a weird taste in my mouth, kind of like a doughnut....I liked it but it gave me heartburn!
It was funny, Steve Carell from The Office came on and did a fake exit interview; Tom Hanks came on and taunted him with the nick-name he came up with, Coco. Neil Young performed a very sad song, which I could have gone without but people love that old hippie. And of course, Will Farrell (with Beck and ZZ Top!?!) came on and played Free Bird with Conan. VERY fitting.
Conan then gave a very classy and touching speech. If you have not heard it, here you are:
He is such a humble, classy guy. I am glad that he really appreciates all of his fans and realizes how loved he is by, at least my generation. And on that note it was nice that he took a minute to tell us not to be cynical. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to not be a cynic at a time like this, but that just shows how awesome he is. I think that it was a good thing to say to my age group especially because I feel like most of us are cynical. It's hard not to be but to have someone who just got screwed in front of the entire nation, on TV no less, tell you not to by cynical really made me think about it.
I typically think people, for the most part, are stinky butt holes who don't care at all about others, but that largely has to do with where I work and the stinky butt holes I've had the misfortune of dating. But to hear Conan say look on the bright side after the hell he just went through really made me think that might be a nice thing to try, to not be cynical, well, not so cynical.
For any younger people who do not understand where the title of this blog came from, it's a song (and no the song did not come from LA Confidential, it was used in it):
FACT: Johnny Carson died on 1/23/2005. Conan's final Tonight Show aired 1/23/2010....hmmm.
So...I went to see 'The Young Victoria' this afternoon, and yes I went alone. (Whatever, more popcorn for me!) I found the BEST movie theater. It only plays indie films, so no Avatar, thank God. But, the very best part is only old people go there!!! And by old I mean that I was easily the youngest person there by 40 years. The only bad thing I have to say about seeing a movie with old people is that the old men do that hocking up noise, which just goes to show you men are gross at every age. It will never end.
I was the only one "close" to the screen, I sat mid way in the theater, all the blue hairs were in the back, which was awesome because I had a row plus the entire front of the house to myself. There was some talking while the previews went on but that's totally acceptable. There was a reminder to not text message during the movie and a few of them thought it would be funny to remind each other, "No text messaging Betty. Hee, hee, hee." I actually laughed out loud since I knew none of them had a clue how to even do that!
The movie's title pretty much sums up what the movie is going to be about. It's not like Mrs. Brown, which only showed the frumpalicious, older Queen Victoria that most of us think of when we hear her name.
Frump-tastic
Before nine children ruined her
(Pretty good ad for birth control, huh?!)
The movie begins right before her Uncle William, the King of England died so there is battle to have her sign for a regent (someone to rule for her because she's too young.) It was very disappointing to see how many people wanted to manipulate a teenager for their own gain, jerks. People around her were uber paranoid, she couldn't walk down a flight of stairs alone for fear of something happening to her.
During all of this there is a romance between her and Prince Albert of Germany and an illusion of what may have been a slight romance between her and one of her counselors.
Prince Albert...not in a can.
Even though you know who wins (or maybe you failed World History and don't know) you still want Prince Albert to get Victoria because he's super nice, sweet, polite and decently hot. He is the only one who cares about her thoughts and doesn't think her future husband should rule for her, they should rule together. Pretty modern thinking. It is interesting to see how society has changed. Albert asked Victoria if he could write to her. Now a days guys don't even ask your name before looking like some kind of retarded dog dry humping on the dance floor... uhh,I hate my generation. I won't ruin the plot of the movie but it only goes up until their first (of NINE!) children is born.
Emily Blunt did a very good job of acting like someone just on the cusp of adulthood, while still acting like a teenager. The movie was produced by Sarah Ferguson, so much of it was filmed in some of the actual places, Kensington Palace and Buckingham Palace.(Which, I learned that Queen Victoria was the first person to live there, so if there's a funky smell there I'd blame her since she broke that place in!)
A "proper" English garden.
It was beautifly filmed and the coustumes were very pretty. It's not my favorite period for costumes but they were all very beautiful and had vibrant colors with really great fabrics.
Remember when people actually cared about what they looked like when they
left the house?
Over all it was a very good film. You see the Victorian Era in a different light. When thinking of the Victorian Era most people think of repression but it was actually a time of great change and just because they weren't a hyper sexual society does not mean it wasn't a progressive culture.
So... today my friend Megan and I traveled to Universal Studios by way of the Metro link to be part of the 'I'm with Coco' Rally. We had never taken the Metro in LA, but we figured it out. We took the Amtrak to Union Station then the Metro into Universal. The Metro was way simpler than the Amtrak, mostly because they have actual people you can talk to instead of just hoping you bought the right ticket!
We got to the rally a little before noon, which is when it started. The rain was coming down pretty good but we were relatively dry.
We had made our shirts TWO nights before but they didn't dry until late last night. As soon as the glittery orange paint got hit with rain, it began to melt. We were COVERED in glitter by the end of the rally. It was like a pixie farted on us.
We were interviewed by various radio shows. Three total I believe and if I can find any of them I will post the links here. The rain really came down and I didn't think our little Target umbrellas were going to make it. There was a very smart guy who had a basket full of umbrellas that he was selling for $5 a pop. They were like big golf umbrellas, nice and sturdy looking.
We had these umbrellas for, oh, about 3 minutes and then THIS:
Umbrella Fail
But thankfully Conan's staff came out and passed out hats. They were $22, we got them for free and they are soon to be collectibles.
It was really pouring. The wind was making the water, basically surround us and more people started showing up. All the trash cans were FULL of broken umbrellas. My pants were SOAKED. If they had set up a Slip and Slide, I wouldn't have gotten any more wet because it was like I took a shower with my clothes on.
La Bamba came out in a Pope mobile type carriage. Everyone went nuts!! (This was on the show later in the evening.)
Then, after a while something happened...
CONAN came running through in a flame of ginger glory.
His head is above the blue umbrella.
We all started running and screaming but it was oddly organized.
We all ran down to Gate 2, where Conan has his show and waited for anything to happen. What I found humorous was that right next to Gate 2 was Human Resources. HA, wonderful.
After a while Andy Richter came out to talk to us and the heavens parted for one of God's favorite cherubs.
After Andy came out, Conan waved, did the string dance and looked very Evita-esque.
After more waving, cheering and chanting Conan's staff brought us all about 60 boxes of pizza, which was really yummy since we were so cold and wet.
(They were even nice and got different flavors of pizza. Yea for the vegetarians...which does not include me but it was a nice gesture.)
On the way back to the metro we saw a skit being done for the Funny or Die website with Asian Conan and Asian Jay. I thought they were funny without doing anything!
The metro was SUPER warm and dry. We were both excited to be heading home.
Last stretch before we got back.
Cold and Wet.
Cold, Wet and Tired.
We got back, got some Mexican food, changed into some sweats, ate, napped and then watched some Cone Zone. Over all a very funny and VERY exhausting day. Totally worth it.
This was what was on The Tonight Show this evening. They did NOT put up the part about Conan running with us or the pizzas.
So... I've been following the whole Tonight Show mess and it's the largest, stinkiest, steamiest peacock turd I've ever seen. For the past few years NBC has not been known for good programing, their only award winning show is 30 Rock, and they still don't treat that show with the respect it deserves. Watching SNL is like going to your little brother's soccer game, you know they aren't great but you watch for moral support and hope they'll get better. ("Come on buddy, I know you can do it!") And even though I'm a huge Law and Order fan, they do not need a another spin off...that's what's supposed to replace The Jay Leno Show.
Back to the mess, Jay Leno is now ticked at NBC because they are making him look like the bad guy by moving him back to 11:35. (I know Jay thinks he's a nice guy but nice guys are normally passive aggressive butt holes.) Well, Jay, if you didn't want to move to 11:35 you could just, uh, retire, for reals this time. And you should be used to being the "bad guy", remember when you screwed Letterman over and Carson wouldn't even let you be on his last show? Each time you are the "bad guy" it's because you are actually a low life,scheming, poor excuse of a man. Grow a pair and pipe up and say you want Conan to have his fair shot because God knows he hasn't gotten even that. NBC marketed your show like it was the second coming of Christ and it still failed!
Conan's shows since this all burst out onto the news circuits have been hilarious, his letter to the "People of Earth"was funny and supremely classy. All the polls have said 60-84% want Conan to stay at 11:35 and don't want to see Leno. NBC is trying to cater to the 45+ age group that in 10 years will not be staying up until 11:35 to even watch Leno. Also, my demographic has created a HUGE facebook group (I'm for Coco) that in 2 days has 75,000+ fans, Leno fans number in a whopping 135. They really needed to let Conan settle in. If they think that after all this stink that Leno will come back to the Tonight Show and it'll be numero uno, they are a bunch of stupid turds. His whole reputation is beyond reparable. He's the Tiger Woods of late night, done with herpes on top.
NBC really needs to listen to the public on this one, since we are the ones that are/will be watching. If not, then they should go talk to Jack Donaghy because I'm sure that fictional character will give them better business advice than their real life advisers are. Give the Cone Zone some respect!!
To show you how funny Conan is here's a tasty-taste. (Sorry it's a little grainy)
So...I had a very clear, yet odd dream the other night that is sure to semi-insult my Mom. Since I'm 99% sure she's the only one that reads my blog, sorry Mom, I couldn't control this.
During this dream I was with a ton of kids at a train station (I was not a kid I was my current age) and we were going to meet our "real" parents. (Again, sorry Mom) I was walking up a steep ramp and Andy Richter(yes, Conan's sidekick) waved to me and said he had my parents right here.
And there they were Liz Lemon and Conan O'Brien. They were very nice to me and we ran and jumped on the train. Then Mr. Bojangles needed food and I woke up.
Reasons why this makes sense (at least in dreamland):
Papa Can You Hear Me? Conan's rapport with Martha Stewart and his love of My Little Ponies is one clue. He is also a history buff, like myself. We both enjoy BIG, orange, hair.
Also I road a horse in Scotland (his name was Jason) and instead of coughing, he farted the whole time I road him. Thanks, Jason.
Mammy!! Like Liz Lemon I have no gaydar, HATE people that break rules, have been confused for a lesbian(I don't understand how, I'm not that surly), am a brutal Uno player, been called a racist (I hate everyone equally), insist that I really am a nice person, bossy, have talked to food about my problems (but have never pooped my pants as an adult),listens to show tunes, have a fairly good knowledge of Star Wars(not proud of that), have had horrible boyfriends, can not be "sexy", is skeptical of anyone who asks me out, and I have the nerdy glasses which I got BEFORE 30 Rock.
Even after this analysis, I clearly watch way too much TV but it does make for interesting dreams. I need a dream dictionary, maybe it all means something...other than I watch alot of both of those shows.
(Pimp Bot 500, Masturbating Bear, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog)
So...Conan's final Tonight Show aired. It left a weird taste in my mouth, kind of like a doughnut....I liked it but it gave me heartburn!
It was funny, Steve Carell from The Office came on and did a fake exit interview; Tom Hanks came on and taunted him with the nick-name he came up with, Coco. Neil Young performed a very sad song, which I could have gone without but people love that old hippie. And of course, Will Farrell (with Beck and ZZ Top!?!) came on and played Free Bird with Conan. VERY fitting.
Conan then gave a very classy and touching speech. If you have not heard it, here you are:
He is such a humble, classy guy. I am glad that he really appreciates all of his fans and realizes how loved he is by, at least my generation. And on that note it was nice that he took a minute to tell us not to be cynical. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to not be a cynic at a time like this, but that just shows how awesome he is. I think that it was a good thing to say to my age group especially because I feel like most of us are cynical. It's hard not to be but to have someone who just got screwed in front of the entire nation, on TV no less, tell you not to by cynical really made me think about it.
I typically think people, for the most part, are stinky butt holes who don't care at all about others, but that largely has to do with where I work and the stinky butt holes I've had the misfortune of dating. But to hear Conan say look on the bright side after the hell he just went through really made me think that might be a nice thing to try, to not be cynical, well, not so cynical.
For any younger people who do not understand where the title of this blog came from, it's a song (and no the song did not come from LA Confidential, it was used in it):
FACT: Johnny Carson died on 1/23/2005. Conan's final Tonight Show aired 1/23/2010....hmmm.
So...I went to see 'The Young Victoria' this afternoon, and yes I went alone. (Whatever, more popcorn for me!) I found the BEST movie theater. It only plays indie films, so no Avatar, thank God. But, the very best part is only old people go there!!! And by old I mean that I was easily the youngest person there by 40 years. The only bad thing I have to say about seeing a movie with old people is that the old men do that hocking up noise, which just goes to show you men are gross at every age. It will never end.
I was the only one "close" to the screen, I sat mid way in the theater, all the blue hairs were in the back, which was awesome because I had a row plus the entire front of the house to myself. There was some talking while the previews went on but that's totally acceptable. There was a reminder to not text message during the movie and a few of them thought it would be funny to remind each other, "No text messaging Betty. Hee, hee, hee." I actually laughed out loud since I knew none of them had a clue how to even do that!
The movie's title pretty much sums up what the movie is going to be about. It's not like Mrs. Brown, which only showed the frumpalicious, older Queen Victoria that most of us think of when we hear her name.
Frump-tastic
Before nine children ruined her
(Pretty good ad for birth control, huh?!)
The movie begins right before her Uncle William, the King of England died so there is battle to have her sign for a regent (someone to rule for her because she's too young.) It was very disappointing to see how many people wanted to manipulate a teenager for their own gain, jerks. People around her were uber paranoid, she couldn't walk down a flight of stairs alone for fear of something happening to her.
During all of this there is a romance between her and Prince Albert of Germany and an illusion of what may have been a slight romance between her and one of her counselors.
Prince Albert...not in a can.
Even though you know who wins (or maybe you failed World History and don't know) you still want Prince Albert to get Victoria because he's super nice, sweet, polite and decently hot. He is the only one who cares about her thoughts and doesn't think her future husband should rule for her, they should rule together. Pretty modern thinking. It is interesting to see how society has changed. Albert asked Victoria if he could write to her. Now a days guys don't even ask your name before looking like some kind of retarded dog dry humping on the dance floor... uhh,I hate my generation. I won't ruin the plot of the movie but it only goes up until their first (of NINE!) children is born.
Emily Blunt did a very good job of acting like someone just on the cusp of adulthood, while still acting like a teenager. The movie was produced by Sarah Ferguson, so much of it was filmed in some of the actual places, Kensington Palace and Buckingham Palace.(Which, I learned that Queen Victoria was the first person to live there, so if there's a funky smell there I'd blame her since she broke that place in!)
A "proper" English garden.
It was beautifly filmed and the coustumes were very pretty. It's not my favorite period for costumes but they were all very beautiful and had vibrant colors with really great fabrics.
Remember when people actually cared about what they looked like when they
left the house?
Over all it was a very good film. You see the Victorian Era in a different light. When thinking of the Victorian Era most people think of repression but it was actually a time of great change and just because they weren't a hyper sexual society does not mean it wasn't a progressive culture.
So... today my friend Megan and I traveled to Universal Studios by way of the Metro link to be part of the 'I'm with Coco' Rally. We had never taken the Metro in LA, but we figured it out. We took the Amtrak to Union Station then the Metro into Universal. The Metro was way simpler than the Amtrak, mostly because they have actual people you can talk to instead of just hoping you bought the right ticket!
We got to the rally a little before noon, which is when it started. The rain was coming down pretty good but we were relatively dry.
We had made our shirts TWO nights before but they didn't dry until late last night. As soon as the glittery orange paint got hit with rain, it began to melt. We were COVERED in glitter by the end of the rally. It was like a pixie farted on us.
We were interviewed by various radio shows. Three total I believe and if I can find any of them I will post the links here. The rain really came down and I didn't think our little Target umbrellas were going to make it. There was a very smart guy who had a basket full of umbrellas that he was selling for $5 a pop. They were like big golf umbrellas, nice and sturdy looking.
We had these umbrellas for, oh, about 3 minutes and then THIS:
Umbrella Fail
But thankfully Conan's staff came out and passed out hats. They were $22, we got them for free and they are soon to be collectibles.
It was really pouring. The wind was making the water, basically surround us and more people started showing up. All the trash cans were FULL of broken umbrellas. My pants were SOAKED. If they had set up a Slip and Slide, I wouldn't have gotten any more wet because it was like I took a shower with my clothes on.
La Bamba came out in a Pope mobile type carriage. Everyone went nuts!! (This was on the show later in the evening.)
Then, after a while something happened...
CONAN came running through in a flame of ginger glory.
His head is above the blue umbrella.
We all started running and screaming but it was oddly organized.
We all ran down to Gate 2, where Conan has his show and waited for anything to happen. What I found humorous was that right next to Gate 2 was Human Resources. HA, wonderful.
After a while Andy Richter came out to talk to us and the heavens parted for one of God's favorite cherubs.
After Andy came out, Conan waved, did the string dance and looked very Evita-esque.
After more waving, cheering and chanting Conan's staff brought us all about 60 boxes of pizza, which was really yummy since we were so cold and wet.
(They were even nice and got different flavors of pizza. Yea for the vegetarians...which does not include me but it was a nice gesture.)
On the way back to the metro we saw a skit being done for the Funny or Die website with Asian Conan and Asian Jay. I thought they were funny without doing anything!
The metro was SUPER warm and dry. We were both excited to be heading home.
Last stretch before we got back.
Cold and Wet.
Cold, Wet and Tired.
We got back, got some Mexican food, changed into some sweats, ate, napped and then watched some Cone Zone. Over all a very funny and VERY exhausting day. Totally worth it.
This was what was on The Tonight Show this evening. They did NOT put up the part about Conan running with us or the pizzas.
So... I've been following the whole Tonight Show mess and it's the largest, stinkiest, steamiest peacock turd I've ever seen. For the past few years NBC has not been known for good programing, their only award winning show is 30 Rock, and they still don't treat that show with the respect it deserves. Watching SNL is like going to your little brother's soccer game, you know they aren't great but you watch for moral support and hope they'll get better. ("Come on buddy, I know you can do it!") And even though I'm a huge Law and Order fan, they do not need a another spin off...that's what's supposed to replace The Jay Leno Show.
Back to the mess, Jay Leno is now ticked at NBC because they are making him look like the bad guy by moving him back to 11:35. (I know Jay thinks he's a nice guy but nice guys are normally passive aggressive butt holes.) Well, Jay, if you didn't want to move to 11:35 you could just, uh, retire, for reals this time. And you should be used to being the "bad guy", remember when you screwed Letterman over and Carson wouldn't even let you be on his last show? Each time you are the "bad guy" it's because you are actually a low life,scheming, poor excuse of a man. Grow a pair and pipe up and say you want Conan to have his fair shot because God knows he hasn't gotten even that. NBC marketed your show like it was the second coming of Christ and it still failed!
Conan's shows since this all burst out onto the news circuits have been hilarious, his letter to the "People of Earth"was funny and supremely classy. All the polls have said 60-84% want Conan to stay at 11:35 and don't want to see Leno. NBC is trying to cater to the 45+ age group that in 10 years will not be staying up until 11:35 to even watch Leno. Also, my demographic has created a HUGE facebook group (I'm for Coco) that in 2 days has 75,000+ fans, Leno fans number in a whopping 135. They really needed to let Conan settle in. If they think that after all this stink that Leno will come back to the Tonight Show and it'll be numero uno, they are a bunch of stupid turds. His whole reputation is beyond reparable. He's the Tiger Woods of late night, done with herpes on top.
NBC really needs to listen to the public on this one, since we are the ones that are/will be watching. If not, then they should go talk to Jack Donaghy because I'm sure that fictional character will give them better business advice than their real life advisers are. Give the Cone Zone some respect!!
To show you how funny Conan is here's a tasty-taste. (Sorry it's a little grainy)
I have no gaydar, I have a cat named Mr.Bojangles, who is probably gay come to think of it, and I'm surrounded by stupid turds. So...like a big breasted Liz Lemon.
