SUPER FREAK

Give It To Me Baby! (SAY WHAT?)

So...Tuesday I went to the Bowers Museum,with my friend Roger, to see the Benjamin Franklin exhibit. I used to work at Bowers and knew it was always full of kids and blue hairs. I know quite a bit about ol' Benji Frank and was hoping for a comprehensive look at his life. Well, you can hope in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first. I felt like I was on a Splash Mountain-esque version of 1776, in other words, my hand was full of crap.

Cold Blooded

Everywhere I looked there's this friggin' squirrel, named Skuggs. What they didn't tell the kiddies was, skuggs is what squirrels were called back in the 1700's and when a pet "skugg" Benji had gifted to someone got killed by a dog, he wrote this, "Here Skugg Lies,Snug as a Bug in a Rug." So next time you say that, think "snug has a half eaten squirrel." Adorable.

In addition to being in Critter Country, there were touch screen TVs EVERYWHERE! If I wanted to watch TV, I would have stayed home. One clip was called "The Gout and Mr.Franklin." (As seen below)

She's a very special girl, from her head down to her toenails.

(Especially if she has the gout.)

So, they don't want to directly talk about his kinkiness, but showing kids a video of him talking to a drag queen version of himself is ok because he's Avatar blue? What--alright. Moving on.

They had some cool hands-on exhibits for kids, the best being about electrical currents. A bunch of private school, entitled, OC boys held hands and were shocked. It was awesome, especially when one kid hit the floor, then got up and wanted more. That kid will have drug problems.

  AND,I thought there would be actual portraits, not reproductions from art.com! They did have actual books Benji owned, some of which had pretty interesting titles.

Come on, Rick, I'm tired, let's go home 

It's Such A Freaky Scene

These chairs,one of his many inventions, were all over the place. A chair with a fan powered by a foot pedal...I would buy one. But, as you can see from my grimace in the photo above, like the senior citizens who this chair would be marketed for, I too can't stand screaming kids.

JUST THE FACTS JACK: It doesn't please me to say B.F. made Rick James look like Carlton from 'Fresh Prince', but he was the very definition of a super freak. He loved GILFs ("And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior." Gross, dude.), paid for hookers, was a dope head, a member of the Hellfire Club (The Hellfire Club was known for it's orgies, as depicted in 'Eyes Wide Shut,' yea, that weird ass movie with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman before her face got jacked.), and workers in 1998 dug up thousands of human bones buried in the basement of his London home (he lived with a doctor who wanted to study anatomy, which was illegal at the time, so BF paid unsavory people to bring him fresh bodies at night...wouldn't their neighbors have smelt that? No one complained...really?)

I say, forget the exhibit and watch some History Channel.

Temptations sing!