If I were a Gay Man...

Use your creative skills gay dudes, Bea Arthur is harshly judging you from her thrown in Heaven.

So...this Halloween I saw and heard about plenty of gay dudes' costumes. I hate to say it but I was underwhelmed. Although it made me think about what I would do if I were a gay man. (Then that made me think about writing a song to the tune of 'If I Were a Rich Man' from Fiddler on the Roof...but I didn't do that, you're welcome.)

Here's a list of awesome costumes I would wear....if I were a gay man:

• Julia Child, you could even make it the bloody version a la Dan Aykroyd on SNL.
• Bea Arthur, perfect for the very tall man.
• The cast of Golden Girls, if you have enough people.
• Tootsie (duh.)
• Freddie Mercury: Speedos, suspenders and a mustache. Slutty and funny, every one's happy!
• The cast of Some Like It Hot.
• Glinda the Good Witch, something fun for fairies!
• Mrs. Doubtfire
• Joan Crawford, bring plenty of wire hangers.
• Liz Taylor, but the crazy version in a wheel chair.
• Carol Burnett's version of Scarlett O'Hara
• Annie and Daddy Warbucks
• Charles Nelson Reiley

I could go on, but I like the costumes that are not the typical ones drag queens wear. Any who, keep it in mind for next year gay dudes. Just remember, Bea and I are watching...and judging.

"Oswald, I'm a man."
"Nobody's perfect."
Side note: I met a little chubster at work who told me he was going to be a Rough Rider for Halloween. He started to explain what they were and I told him I totally knew and Teddy is my FAVORITE President ever and gave him a sweet high five. That kid is awesome and creative.

Some DON'T Like It Hot

So...it was 113 in LA today and what did I decide to do? Walk around in it! I know, I'm a genius. Heather and I went into Burbank for some vintage shopping at Playclothes. I could have stayed there ALL day because they have a ton of coolness there. The first thing that I was drawn to were all their awesome hats. Here's a mini fashion show....think of fashion show music while you look at these.

It looks like Joan Crawford died on my head.

Smile and say awkward! I loved both of these items.

Very British.

I love hats and would have loved to have bought a few (mostly the fuchsia one) but no one wears hats anymore!! The sales lady tried to get me to buy it but, where am I going to wear a hat? Target? My writing class? I think not.

Nothing says lets try on FUR COATS like 113 degrees!

I do LOVE this coat, but it was $225. Maybe another time...like when I moved somewhere that actually has coat weather!

I ended up getting a cute little apron for myself...yes I wear aprons. Jealous?

We walked down the street to look at other vintage shops and the 2 block walk felt like Satan's minions were heating up the pavement just for us. And maybe they were because this is what we found.

May this haunt your nightmares!

 We then drove over to Glendale to have Armenian food. I'd never had it before but I was game to try it, so we ate at Raffi's Place. It was really good. Armenian food is basically kabobs, you can't go wrong. 

We had humus, yogurt, and pita bread to start.

We shared a chicken kabob with pilaf and BBQ-ed tomato. Heather clearly wanted me to hurry up and take the photo so we could eat.

And we finished with an orange and lemon sorbet. Very refreshing in the heat.

We wanted to NOT get stuck in traffic so we went over to check out the Halloween store and Borders instead of sitting in rush hour. I have zero plans for Halloween so far and if I end up doing anything I will make my own costume and not buy one at the costume store. All the little girl costumes seemed to be like sluts in training gear. Whatever happened to weirdo little kid costumes like witches, cats, and scarecrows? The girls that were on the ads for these things looked they should come with the note: WARNING: If your daughter chooses this costume she'll be pregnant by 16...just like Mommy.

I did find a sweet cut out and forced Heather to snap one last photo of me. Over all, fun, yet hot day off.



That's Entertainment: Plastics

My new found love of Anne Bancroft begins.

So...I was draggin' in the morning and did NOT wake up for the 9AM viewing of 'Sunset Boulevard.' I was not ready for my close up Mr. DeMille. I arrived for the showing of Joan Crawford's home movies which spanned from about 1938-1942-ish. They were nearly all in color but they were silent. I really enjoyed them and I was about 1 of only 500 people that have ever seen them. Her grandson, Casey, hosted the showing. He is NOT Christina's son and has never met her and said that he nor his mother, Cathy, thought that movie/book was an accurate depiction of Joan.

A really great shot of Joan hunting in the woods.

Joan and Christina sunbathing (NUDE!) It was adorable. Everything that was shown of Joan interacting with Christina was super cute. Christina was crazy and I'm glad that Joan's grandson is trying to restore her reputation.

Filmed in Shafter, CA. Not Indiana.

The first film of the day was 'North by Northwest.' It was PACKED!! Robert Osborne was there interviewing Martin Landau and Eva Marie Saint before the film. Martin Landau looks like a really nice old dude...until you watch the movie and he's creepy as hell!! Also, was he gay? It's a legitimate question because I learned that Tony Curtis dabbled in men...and animals!!!AHHHH!!!! Any who, I had never seen the movie all the way because it's ALWAYS shown in Bakersfield because the famous plane scene was filmed in Shafter, about 20 minutes away. And here's a little tidbit for you, the man that flew the plane was my Grandma's neighbor. Fact.

I am glad I hadn't seen it all the way through because it was REALLY good on the big screen. Also, this was the third movie I had noticed James Mason in during the festival. What was that all about? He is one creepy dude.

Up next, another funny person put in an interview with Buster Bluth. Buck Henry was there for 'The Graduate.' He wrote the screen play for the movie and is also Liz Lemon's dad on 30 Rock. He was very funny, even with Buster Bluth.

The movie was great and I now want to see more movies that Anne Bancroft was in.

Buck Henry is the guy that is at the hotel front desk...he reminds me of Jack Lemon a little bit.

After the movie I went back across to Club TCM and met up with Carley for a bit before I drove my tired self home.

I will for sure go to the Festival next year but the things I will do differently are 1: buy the best ticket and 2: get a hotel so I can take naps in the afternoon, driving back and forth was no bueno!