S.A.G.S and TITS

I'm 100% sure I have a photo with the same facial expressions with my best friend. If Fey and Poehler are anything like Cassie and me, they can only be noticing one thing, someone farted.

So...after the world's most uneventful shift, I watched the SAG Awards tonight and I will say, award shows are AWESOME with a DVR. And, for an award show ONLY for actors, not a lot of them can read cue cards super great. For some reason during the red carpet interviews, the majority of them were snoozeburgers. You're wearing  $100,000 of diamonds on your chest and get to drink all the free booze you want, I'd be super stoked!

Every one's fascination with Natalie Portman---I just, why? She's knock-up by her boyfriend who's a ballerina...Judy Garland had a kid with a gay guy too, big whoop! I read a quote from her while she was promoting her dump-tastic rom-com and these were her feelings on the romantic comedy genre, "They always want to get married at the end. There’s some kind of makeover scene. That stuff offends me." Well, Nat, there actually are movies about a hot girl who sleeps around, they're called porn and THAT is a more reasonable thing to be offended by, hippie.

Not to paint myself as a complete prude, let's talk about mammalia.

Tits, Ba zooms, Fun Bags, Medicine Balls, Pechangas, Nay-Nays---my world, welcome to it.

I also found out that NO ONE knows when 'Mad Men' will be coming back. This news seriously screwed my impending summer romance with my TV sideways because 'Mad Men' comes in and fills the cold, sad void of no new '30 Rock.' And on top of that news, my girl, Christina Hendrick's looked cute but the dress was super boring. (I have only recently purchased by first LBD, black is boring---I look better in technicolor!) AND, her husband was annoying and talked WAY too much on the red carpet interviews. Shut your yap and thank your lucky stars that you get to go home and sleep next to that.

Christina is all about her bazooms and that dress didn't really show them off. Since, I too, am in the Big Titty Committee, I think that you'd better show 'em off while they're nice, because some day they'll be like that song lyric, "Can you throw them o'er your shoulder/Like a Continental Soldier?"

Sophia Vergara ('Modern Family') knows what I'm talking about and I LOVED her dress. I would rock that dress if I ever went anywhere awesome. 

I Want To Go To There.



Alec Baldwin won for Best Actor in a Comedy. Thank God, because Big Bang Theory is a Hindenburg of a show. I don't know how that nerdy dude won at the Golden Globes and Emmys instead of my precious Daddy Bear.

On a completely random note, I love the photos of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They remind me of Cassie and me being total goobs and I'm happy to know that I can continue being a dork for a few more decades!

It's it Romantic?

So...while running at the gym tonight I saw a story on Night line about how the romantic comedy is dead. The interviewee, a supposed expert, really had nothing to contribute, but the story did get me thinking.

It's true, I haven't seen a great romantic comedy in a while. The ones that I have seen are almost always with the same actresses (Jennifer Aniston or Lopez, both need  to go away or Kathrine Heigl, meh) and some meathead with a hot bod as the leading man. I know that there are about a million screenplays submited a year and I wonder what idiot thought, "Another Jennifer Aniston rom com? She has a lame love life in reality so, I'll cut her a break and give her a good fake one...for the third time this year."

Most of the newer "rom coms" (I effing hate that term) are either all about sex or a guide to being a slut. I know that is a trend with girls, to sleep with a guy and then get to know him (not me, I just happen to know some crazy skanks who clearly like to overshare.) I think we need movies that teach women to act like women and get men to be romantic because clearly, that is a lost art.Women bitch and moan about how there are no romantic men left, well close your legs and make them be romantic. If you want to be a whore, start charging and stop whining.


What happened to dapper men that were charming and made the audience fall in love with them? Clark Gable, Paul Newman, Bill Holden and even light in his loaffers, Rock Hudson would charm the pants of you. And not all of them were hot; Jimmy Stewart was not a stud but he was the Tom Hanks of his day, a nice guy that anyone would want to be with.

I digress. This new turd is about to breeze into theathers this month.

'No Strings Attached' is about sex buddies. I'll save you the $10 for the ticket and the $15 for snacks and 2 hrs of having to watch Aston Kutcher's craptastic acting and tell you to turn on VH1 tomorrow at 5PM and watch 'When Harry Met Sally' for free where you can find out that men and women can not, infact, be sex buddies without someone's feelings getting hurt.

Someone needs to put the romance back into the romantic comedy STAT because it's not dead, just on life support.

***What's your favorite romantic comedy?***