A Side of Judgement

Today's Special: HATRED

So...the holidays are coming. People are looking forward to spending time with their families and having vacation time. Not me. I serve at a place that is open 365 days a year and pretends to give a damn about American traditions. (Wouldn't one of those traditions be spending time at HOME on a holiday? Hmmm.)

Even though I am used to this, it doesn't mean I like it. I don't think anything should be open on the holidays, except the ER. Heart attacks don't know it's Christmas, so they get a free pass. I don't understand wanting to go anywhere on Thanksgiving or Christmas. All I want to do is eat, sleep and then repeat that pattern a few times between Trivial Pursuit matches. I don't want to go shopping or to the movies and I definitely don't want to go to a friggin' theme park after eating a huge meal.

I know some of my friends go out on these days and I would like to take this time to tell them this;  I'm judging you. I think you are horrible and selfish for doing this. YOU are the reason someone else's holiday is effed, YOU selfish buttholes. STAY HOME. You don't know how to cook, figure it out dummies. You are bored, get a book. Don't go out because I guarantee you the person helping you when you go out hates you to your core.

Every table I serve on the holidays I hate. They are horrible people and my Bea Arthur judgement is crystal clear on those days. These people aren't even enjoying their day either, they are too busy bitching at their hell babies. What a waste of their day and more importantly, MINE! Did Home Alone teach my generation nothing? Going away for the holidays sucks. Stay home with your weird uncle, chatty grandma and cousins. DUH!!

Random Related Rant: People with boyfriends and girlfriends, stop pretending you are married. I do not understand stressing out about going to your boyfriend's parents house on the holidays and whining about having to eat two dinners in one day. I have had boyfriends during the holidays and I never even thought, 'Oh I better go to his parents' house for turkey and stuffing too.' Nope, I looked down at my hand, didn't see a wedding ring and said, "See you on the 26th. Your Mom's a bad cook and I don't HAVE to eat her crappy cooking yet, so I'm going to my house...where they know how to cook." Plus, you'll probably break up and like a dummy, you dedicated time to a family you won't even be in anyways. I'll tie both rants up in a neat little bow: STAY HOME!

Brain Turd

Me.

So...do bad things come in threes or is it only celebrity deaths? I hope, for my sake, that it's both because I feel like the rabbit that got it's foot chopped off, unlucky! In less than 2 weeks I've had MAJOR roommate crap to deal with, my writing class (the most enjoyable thing I've got going for myself right now) was postponed and I got rear ended going to work. BLERGH!!! I know everything happens for a reason but does it all have to happen at once?! I hope Karma is real because I should be getting something better than a free cookie back!


I love dishing out a good insult. Not something simple, a good insult is an art and not everyone can do it. This montage is how I feel about one of my crappy situations. It is a masterpiece.

I did go see 'Get Him To The Greek.' I had watched 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' (Get Him To The Greek is kind of a sequel to that movie)which I thought was okay, but the Greek movie was surprisingly funny. All the main characters were really good and I laughed a lot, which I needed. Toy Story 3 is still my pick for the summer full of underwhelming movies.

This July Fourth at 'The Happiest Place in Hell' almost turned me into a full blown racist, almost. I had about 10 separate LARGE parties of middle eastern people and their devil spawn. I don't think I've met any bossier children than these middle eastern kids. A**HOLES! Someone needs to civilize them and teach them some manners because they are atrocious. Getting bossed around by them on MY COUNTRY'S holiday was ironic and pissed me off. I was yelling horrible things in the back when I refilled their bread basket SIX times. I am exhausted and didn't even get a hot dog, damn it!

This entry is titled Brain Turd because it's very random, as if my brain took a turd.