Today's Special: HATRED
So...the holidays are coming. People are looking forward to spending time with their families and having vacation time. Not me. I serve at a place that is open 365 days a year and pretends to give a damn about American traditions. (Wouldn't one of those traditions be spending time at HOME on a holiday? Hmmm.)
Even though I am used to this, it doesn't mean I like it. I don't think anything should be open on the holidays, except the ER. Heart attacks don't know it's Christmas, so they get a free pass. I don't understand wanting to go anywhere on Thanksgiving or Christmas. All I want to do is eat, sleep and then repeat that pattern a few times between Trivial Pursuit matches. I don't want to go shopping or to the movies and I definitely don't want to go to a friggin' theme park after eating a huge meal.
I know some of my friends go out on these days and I would like to take this time to tell them this; I'm judging you. I think you are horrible and selfish for doing this. YOU are the reason someone else's holiday is effed, YOU selfish buttholes. STAY HOME. You don't know how to cook, figure it out dummies. You are bored, get a book. Don't go out because I guarantee you the person helping you when you go out hates you to your core.
Every table I serve on the holidays I hate. They are horrible people and my Bea Arthur judgement is crystal clear on those days. These people aren't even enjoying their day either, they are too busy bitching at their hell babies. What a waste of their day and more importantly, MINE! Did Home Alone teach my generation nothing? Going away for the holidays sucks. Stay home with your weird uncle, chatty grandma and cousins. DUH!!
Random Related Rant: People with boyfriends and girlfriends, stop pretending you are married. I do not understand stressing out about going to your boyfriend's parents house on the holidays and whining about having to eat two dinners in one day. I have had boyfriends during the holidays and I never even thought, 'Oh I better go to his parents' house for turkey and stuffing too.' Nope, I looked down at my hand, didn't see a wedding ring and said, "See you on the 26th. Your Mom's a bad cook and I don't HAVE to eat her crappy cooking yet, so I'm going to my house...where they know how to cook." Plus, you'll probably break up and like a dummy, you dedicated time to a family you won't even be in anyways. I'll tie both rants up in a neat little bow: STAY HOME!
