Prince Charming is Gay

Nothing says 'I'm an adult ready for marriage' like cartoon animals.

So...I witnessed, what I consider to be the most ridiculous wedding reception of my life last weekend at work. The theme was the movie 'Lady and the Tramp.' I'll let you think about that for a minute. The bride to be reminded me of my ex-roommate because she had the annoying baby voice and LOVED glitter. She wore what looked like a slutty Glenda the Good Witch dress that Tinkerbell had farted glitter all over. And no one bothered to tell her that the tulle was see through, which was a fun added bonus for the guys working that night. She was a total bridezilla and looked to be maybe 21...maybe. I know that she had one of the Disney themed wedding packages.

Nothing says I'm a mature adult prepared to make a serious life commitment like an animated  fairytale. I know the girls that do this are totally immature little twits who clearly have some deep seeded childhood issues to deal with. To me you shouldn't be able to get your wedding stuff in the same isle of Party City that 5 year old's get their cheap-o birthday knick-knacks.

Straight guys don't keep lost high heels.

Next annoyance, Prince Charming. I'm not 6 years old anymore, Prince Charming is as real as the Tooth Fairy...actually they have a lot in common, they are both big fairies! Don't believe me? Prince Charming loved shoes way too much for a straight dude.

Silence is Golden?

The Disney Princes that weren't light in their tights were pretty weird too. Prince Charming(Snow White): Necrophiliac, Prince Phillip: Samesies, The Beast: Stockholm Syndrome, Prince Eric: Women have nothing important to say. See.. I'm good with out any of that nonsense to deal with in a man.

I know, 'to each her own,' but the Princess themed wedding is stupid and a waste of money. If I ever have to go to a themed wedding for one of my friends I will be eating an entire layer of your cake to punish you for being an idiot, so please factor that into your budget.

You have been warned.