The Most Interesting Kid In The World

If Charleston Heston and Ricardo Montalban had a love baby, it'd be this dude.

So...like any other night I was working, serving the masses and their hell babies when I started a new table. I told the kid the list of sodas and listed the beers for the dad when this 8 year old chubby little boy said, "I don't always drink beer but when I do, I drink Dos Equis." That kid is officially the coolest kid I've ever met. I died laughing because this 8 year old quoted one of the coolest beer commercials ever, and I don't even drink beer! Haven't seen 'em, here you go:

I thought that kid better keep being funny because he was a little chubster and being funny helps mask what's actually weird about you. Take it from me, the child giant.

No, I'm not 14 I'm in 5th freakin' grade!

After watching a bunch of comedy DVDs lately I have found that most funny people are funny because they are depressed or fat or depressed because they are fat...which doesn't explain why the majority of them turn to hard drugs, that's just stupid. Maybe I'm funny because I was a tall chubby kid, I don't really care, I just want to make money off it!

Rock on funny chubby kids, you're 100% cooler than the jocks and sluts. Trust me.

Hot Tranny Mess

So...I read about this little girl, Tavi, who is pissing off a bunch of old queens at New York's Fashion Week because she's getting more press than them. She's 13 and blogs about haute couture, so all that weird fashion that even Lady Gaga's crazy ass won't wear!
My first thought was "oh crap, it's Minkus as a girl!" (From the 90's TGIF show, Boy Meets World...he was like the white Urkel.) Her looks are the perfect mix of 12 year old and 45 year old Mom who's given up.

I only know one other person who is able to do that, so it's like seeing a sad, weird, frump-a-dump unicorn. AND she looks just like this. AHHH.

So my first thought was I don't know if I like this weird little kid, she reminds me of someone I dislike and therefore could be totally ruined for me, but I kept reading. She has something all the powerful gays in the fashion industry love and I want to know what that is! Youth? Perhaps. But what I really enjoyed about her blog was that in one entry she commented on new fashion using only quotes from 30 Rock. Hilarious!

That won me over. Good job weird kid, keep doing what you love and don't let anyone tell you how to dress. Take it from this weird kid who INSISTED on a bowl cut.